I never knew it would be so emotional and difficult but the day I stepped out of the office to start my maternity leave I crumbled. It was a day I had been waiting for since I was 18 years old. At last, it was my turn to go and be mum so why didn’t I feel a sense of elation? Why did I step outside the office doors and sob all the way down Baker Street and on the hours train journey home? I arrived home numb, I felt a huge void and that a huge part of me had been taken away.